by Dr Rick | May 10, 2020 | Self-Reliance
To Thine Own Self Be True
These words of Polonius are taken from Shakespeare’s work:
“This above all: to thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man…”
I’m going to share one of my most valuable clinical techniques in helping another person achieve “being true to themselves.” Unfortunately, it has been only the last few years that I discovered the importance of this particular psychological method. As clients struggle in life and come with their insurance and credit cards to my office they often are asking themselves similar questions. Although the specific problems may vary from addiction to depression from abuse to divorce, the core questions generally stay the same “What is the answer to my problem?” and “How can I know what to do?”
Discover And Use Your Personal Promptings
The psychological technique I’m referring to is discovering and using your personal “Promptings“. Promptings are a spiritual influence that comes from God into your mind as a thought or a feeling put into your heart. Promptings have in common the fact they come from a divine source, God. The “Light of Christ” and “Holy Ghost” are the specific social media platforms used by God to communicate Promptings to you. At this point the difference between Light of Christ and Holy Ghost really don’t matter. What matters is learning to receive messages from this divine delivery system. As you develop your skill in using Promptings you will obtain impressions from God about what to do and what not to do in your life.
Not All Thoughts and Feelings Come From God
There are numerous causes for your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feelings can be influenced by: your environment e.g. entertainment, pornography; your physical body e.g. nutrition, sleep, mental illness; your life experience e.g. abuse, abandonment; Satan e.g. temptations; and by God e.g. Promptings. As you learn to recognize the different sources of your various thoughts and feelings, your confidence in you and your future will change forever- you will have no fear! (See Where Do Thoughts Come From?)
Trial And Error Learning
Yes, there will be a learning curve as you master recognizing and complying with your personal Promptings. It will take time and effort to learn. But hey- remember all those misspelled words on your spelling test and the calculation errors on your Algebra test? Be patient. God wants more than anything to talk to you. You will learn to check your Daily Promptings just like you learned to check your Facebook page, Instagram, or any other social networking platform.
Anatomy Of Your Soul
Let’s do a brief review of the anatomy of your soul. (See: The Anatomy of a Soul) Remember you are made up of a “Physical Body” and a “Spiritual Body”. Both have the capacity to learn. “Spiritual learning” comes from divine sources “Light of Christ” and the “Holy Ghost” talking to your spirit. “Temporal learning” comes from books, school, workshops, therapy, and life experience. Temporal learning teaches your brain which is part of your physical body. Learning to recognize and comply with your divine Promptings is the classroom where spiritual learning occurs. Unfortunately, I think we failed to teach anyone how to access divine Promptings and learn spiritually.
Promptings Never Exceed Your Capacity
Because Promptings have a divine source and messaged by an all-knowing God we can be confident they are based on truth. It’s been my experience that choices based on truth eventually work all the time and every time. A choice based on truth never fails! Although it may be in the life here-after before we recognize it as the correct choice. When you identify and follow a Prompting it is always the right choice. Because God knows everything about you from beginning to end, you can be sure He would never give you a Prompting beyond your capacity to achieve it. It’s against the laws of Heaven for God to send you a Prompting that you do not have the capacity to achieve. It will not happen! Nevertheless, in the beginning, as you learn to trust your Promptings it is not unusual for you to believe “I could never achieve that.”
Let’s make a word change on the popular scripture in 1 Nephii 3:7
And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath impressed me to do, for I know that the Lord giveth no impressions unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the impression which he hath given them.
An Example
Here is a recent example. Mr. and Mrs. Smith are a middle-age couple. They’ve been married 25 years and active in their church. The wife was severely sexually abused as a child over 30 years ago by a family member. Most of her personal and married life has been impacted by her unresolved sexual abuse issues. Sister Smith has read books, attended classes, been to therapists, and visited with the clergy. She seems to have tried everything “on earth” that she and her husband can think of to find peace. Yet, when I met her she continued to feel victimized by her negative self-talk, occasional dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts of earlier abuse, and frankly being confused on how to proceed with her life.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith have spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on earthly resources attempting to resolve “her sexual abuse problem” with very little success? And these guys are very intelligent professional people! I’m quite sure Sister Smith is more knowledgeable about sexual abuse and its effects then I am! If there was a class on abuse, she could teach it! Clearly the Smiths have learned about all they can “temporally” about sexual abuse.
This statement came to my mind: “Ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 2 Tim. 3:7 I think it is not by accident this scripture is in the chapter where Paul describes the apostasy and perilous times of the last days. Sister Smith had failed to access her most powerful resource- Promptings! No one has taught her the importance of and the “how to” to activate personal revelation for direction concerning her personal sexual abuse issues. She had diligently looked elsewhere to her husband, to her therapist(s), to her books, etc etc – but failed to look inside herself and trust her personal Promptings. She was unsure of what God would have her personally do. When I asked Sister Smith to pause and look inside and ponder possible Promptings she was quite nervous and unsure of her ability to trust herself and her capacity to follow those Prompgtings. She had been learning about earthly knowledge, but as of yet not found “truth” for her own personal recovery. “Ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 2 Tim. 3:7
The way to receive Promptings is really quite simple. The process has been around for hundreds of years. With practice, I’m confident Sister Smith, And you if you decide will become “true to herself” by learning “temporally” by her earthly resources and “spiritually” by her Promptings.
dr rick
by Dr Rick | Dec 19, 2018 | Self-Reliance
STRESS
Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand. It can be caused by both positive and negative experiences. In 1966 Dr. Richard S. Lazarus defined stress something like: The condition or feeling experienced when you perceive that demands exceed your personal resources. Stress is a normal part of life.
When you feel stressed by something going on around you, your body reacts by releasing chemicals into the blood. The amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. This area of the brain functions like a command center, communicating with the rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to “fight or flee”. This is called the “stress response.”
Let’s try experiencing the “stress response” by just thinking of a stressful event. I bet you can imagine something in your mind some demand or stressor, right now that can trigger the “stress response.” Perhaps, speaking in public, meeting with your boss, talking to your spouse about money etc. Try it! Think of a stressful event and pay attention to your physiological reaction. Most of us can do this without ever leavung our chair!
Stress looks like this:
Stress occurs when your perception of the Demands outweigh your Resources.
STRESS AFFECTS HEALTH
The human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. Prolonged stress causes wear and tear on your body – both physical and emotional. Prolonged stress can lead to:
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, an upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, sexual dysfunction, and problems sleeping.
- Emotional problems such as depression, panic attacks, or other forms of anxiety and
- Worsening of certain symptoms or diseases.
See the American Psychological Association for additional information- Listening to the Warning Signs of Stress.
INCREASE RESOURCES – REDUCE DEMANDS
It is critical that you have sufficient resources to deal with the demands of your life. Simply stated, stress can be avoided by: Increasing resources or Reducing demands. Check out my blog “Five to Survive” or podcast “Five to Survive” to learn more about resources.
ONE TIP
Remember – stress is when you perceive that you do not have the resources to deal with the demands. The key word here is “perceive.“
Let’s talk about gardening. Gardening is a resource to me but likely a demand for you! Obviously, the garden activity in and of itself is the exact same behavior for each of us – plant the seeds, pull the weeds, water the plants, etc.
How can the exact same activity be a resource that reduces stress for one person …
and a demand that increases stress for another?
It’s perception!
In other words, it’s not the stressful event itself that makes the difference. What is most important, is how you perceive the stressful event.
Personal resources can always be increased by strengthening your perception of yourself.
The demands can always be reduced by changing your perception of the demand and its impact on you.
If you perceive something as stressful, your brain releases hormones into the blood and you will experience the “stress response.”
BALANCE THE SCALE
Here it is, the one tip that can eliminate experiencing the “stress response” when confronting any stressful event.
Change your perception about your ability to deal with the demand and/or change your perception about the way the demand will impact your life.
The fact that “stress” occurs because of a perception, means that you can do something about it. You can train yourself (or you can be trained by a professional, if necessary) to change your perception or how you believe about yourself and your life demands.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION
Changing your perception of a stressful event is ONE resource that always works in reducing stress! One common method of changing your perception of a stressful event is the use of affirmations.
POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
Positive affirmations are statements you say to yourself, that help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts:
- about yourself and your abilities
- and about the possible impact of a stressful event.
When you repeat positive affirmations often, and believe in them, you can start to reduce the effects of stress.
Sample affirmations include: “This too shall pass;” “One day at at time;” “I can do anything I put my mind to;” “Let go and let God;” “Tomorrow is another day;” and “It is what it is.” The best time to use affirmations for stress is AS SOON as as you realize that you are experiencing the symptoms.
Even if you don’t believe the affirmation, pick a favorite affirmation and begin by repeating it several times a day.
My favorite affirmation:
Doc says: You can do hard things!
Check out the list of resources Affirmations For Stress Relief:
This audio book is an excellent resource
Other ways to experience “One Tip”
Podcast
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by Dr Rick | Dec 14, 2018 | Self-Reliance
TYPHOON!
And the XIII World Boy Scout Jamboree in Japan had just begun. Sitting in our tents at the foot of Mt. Fuji on Asagiri Heights, most of us, heard the mobile loudspeakers begin to blaze: “Prepare for evacuation. All sub-camps requiring evacuation , get ready. Buses are on the way.” 16,000 Scouts had to be evacuated for 48 hours. It was the summer of 1971. I had just turned 17. Our camp had to be evacuated. They asked for a couple of volunteers to remain behind to watch our equipment. I volunteered.
The Rain Came
We were joking around in the tent as a little river of water began to run through. We decided we’d better go out and dig a trench around the tent to direct the water elsewhere. By now the clouds were gray, the wind was blowing and the rain was a down pour. How could we have forgotten to dig the trench around our tent? We were scouts! Scouts are always prepared right?
Well, not this time and not for a typhoon.
STORMS OF LIFE
I’m convinced, after 40 years of working in the mental health field, one of the greatest obstacles facing each of us is our ability to cope. We fail to “dig the trench” before the storm comes. 😢 The storms of life will find each of us. We will either be prepared or we will not be prepared.Hard Times Ahead
It is almost certain that as we talk about future life storms, we will talk about the importance of being financially and temporally prepared. We will ask questions like, do you have enough food, money, water, etc. That isn’t wrong of course, but if the discussion stays focused only on building home storage and finances 👉 you 👈 my friend will NOT be prepared emotionally for your storm!
As a Psychologist
As a psychologist with thousands of hours with patients, I’ve developed a new understanding of this scripture “Men’s hearts failing them for fear...” Luke 21:26 . I believe “men’s and women’s hearts fail them” when they do not have sufficient coping resources to deal with their storm. As a result, they experience depression, anxiety, nervous breakdowns, and unfortunately suicide.
On the bright side, those who have sufficient “coping resources” make it.👍 The analogy I like to use is “Emotional Emergency Preparedness Kit.” You are probably familiar with the concept of a 72 Hour Preparedness Kit. This kit contains the basics: food, water, matches, etc. (What to Pack in a 72 Hour Kit). This kit is to be used during a natural disaster.
Emotional Preparedness Kit
Well, if I was your psychologist, the first question I would ask you would be “What do you have in your Emotional Emergency Preparedness Kit?” I would then explain that this kit contains coping resources – emotional resources necessary for you to survive your storm. The principle of “self-reliance” applies to both preparedness for “emotional” and “natural” disasters. There are clearly several items that should go into your Emotional Emergency Preparedness Kit. As a psychologist I’d recommend you store-up.
COPING RESOURCES
Characteristics of Coping Resources
Here are some observations about coping resources:
- Coping resources are someone, something, or some activity that strengthens you. 💪 A resource has a positive influence on your personal life. It brings hope.
- Coping resources change from time to time. What might be a resource one day may not be a resource another day. A resource may not be available or simply not be effective the day you need it. For example, running used to be one of my favorite resources. Now, with age I swim more and run less.
- What works as a coping resource for one person may be a stressor for another. For example, gardening is one of my most effective resources. For you there is a good chance that gardening is a stressor.
- The need for coping resources vary depending on the expected stress. Some days you may need 7 or 8 coping resources because of all the stress. On other days you may need only 1 or 2. For example, on Saturdays when I work in my garden 1 or 2 resources are plenty. However, on days I get a subpoena to go to court, I like to have prepared with 4 or 5.
- A coping resource should be “legal” AND “be consistent with your morals and faith.”
Most important, is the coping resource must work for 👉 you 👈!
Examples of Coping Resources
And a million other activities….
FIVE TO SURVIVE
You need five coping resources in you Emotional Preparedness Kit to survive your storm.
FINAL THOUGHTS
When you’re looking for emotional coping resources don’t look too hard. Often you’ve already experienced them or you have had an impression of what might work. If all you are doing is taking medication. Count …
It’s “1”.
One is not five.
You need five to survive.
Feelings of being overwhelmed and depressed will occur…
when you have emotionally prepared for scattered showers,
but you are facing a typhoon!
Back to the Typhoon
We made it through the typhoon along with most of our equipment. The trench we initially dug eventually turned into much a larger ditch. Before it was over, there was a virtual river running through our camp. Holy Cow- did it ever rain!
Doc: You Can Do Hard Things....
(C) 2018 all rights reserved
If you are prepared you shall not fear.
Other ways to experience “Five-To-Survive”
Shrinktext Session – Receive daily cell text explaining the content. About 2 weeks in length. Simpley text FIVE to my cell text number 202.883.8885
Podcast
Facebook Life
Please share with your friends and family! – The Doc
