You are responsible for your ability to love, but not for the outcome of another's life. You can do everything right as a parent or spouse, but there is no guarantee your child or spouse will change. A reminder why its important to develop "Self-Love" a healthy focus on self: Jethro Teaching Moses If I have invested all my esteem, my love, my time and my effort in working out or worrying about someone else's salvation, how much time and energy to I have left to work on me? In Exodus 18, the Lord teaches this principle to Moses. The story begins with Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, bringing Moses' wife and sons to meet him. While visiting Jethro, Moses' father-in-law becomes aware of Moses' Codependency,

And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Mosses from morning unto the evening. And when Moses' father-in-law saw all that he did to the people he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? Why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto eve? And Moses said unto his father-in-law, Because the people come unto me to inquire of God; When they have a matter they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statues of God and his laws. (Exodus 18:13-16). 

One might wonder, "What is Jethro worried about? Isn't Moses doing the Lord's work from sun up to sun down? What more can one do? Surely God would approve of such behaviors?" Jethro, being inspired of the Lord, counsels Moses:

And Moses' father-in-law said unto him, the thing that thou doest is not good. Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee; for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou are not able to perform it thyself alone. (Exodus 18:17-18)

Jethro recognized that Moses would eventually "wear away" if he continued doing everything himself. Perhaps he might of ended up having a "nervous breakdown" and end up in a psychiatric ward. Jethro instructed Moses to appoint lesser judges and to delegate power to them. Then Jethro gave Moses a promise:

If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace (Exodus 18:23)

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36 How Does One Develop Self-Love? 1. Spend Time Alone One must take time to be alone to develop self-love. In Matthew 7:3, Jesus said: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in the brother's eye, but considereest not the beam that is in thin own eye?" Codependents must focus on the "beam" in their own lives before various strategies and interventions aimed toward "mote" in the addict's life will be effective. Each of us needs to understand that our priority is to return to God and make the necessary changes in our life to do just that, In part, this is done by taking time to be alone. Each codependent must  become sufficiently self-reliant to work out your personal salvation privately. If our personal "spirituality bucket" is empty what can we offer those around us who are in need of "living water?" It is difficult to make time for ourselves in such a busy world. The needs of church, community, our children and our spouse can be demanding. In order to be alone, at times important tasks will have to be postponed or even left undone. Imagine the kinds of activities that might have been left undone by Moses when he went alone to Mount Sinai leaving the Israelites behind. If Moses had remained with the Israelites would they have begun worshiping idols? Using Christ as another example, might have someone benefitted from a blessing while Christ was in the desert alone for 40 days and nights? However inconvenient, these absences, (when individuals took time to be alone and with God) benefitted the entire human race in ways that can't be measured. Perhaps the best scriptural example illustrating the importance of being alone is found in Matthew 14:13. Here disciples tell Jesus that John the Baptist has been beheaded "When Jesus heard of it, he departed thence by ship into desert place apart." The people heard where Jesus was going and they followed him by the thousands. Jesus ministered unto the 5,000 "beside women and children" and fed them. After the miracle of feeding the onlookers, the scriptures tell us:

And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away, he went up into the mountain apart to pray; and when the evening was come, he was there alone. (Matthew 14:22, 23).

For whatever reasons, after the death of John the Baptist Jesus arranged things to be alone. For many codependents, the guilt associated with spending time alone and caring for themselves will make this assignment nearly impossible to complete. However, continue your efforts in hope. If time alone is spent effectively, someday you can find the "hidden treasure" YOU! You will become acquainted with your inner feelings, your aspirations, and the blessings promised you in your patriarchal blessing. God wants it this way. Only Satan would have you believe it is a sin to work out your own salvation. 2019 (C) Docyoucan  "/>

How To Develop Self-Love: Spend Time Alone

by | Apr 8, 2019

How To Develop Self-Love: Spend Time Alone

You are responsible for your ability to love, but not for the outcome of another’s life. You can do everything right as a parent or spouse, but there is no guarantee your child or spouse will change.

A reminder why its important to develop “Self-Love” a healthy focus on self:

Jethro Teaching Moses

If I have invested all my esteem, my love, my time and my effort in working out or worrying about someone else’s salvation, how much time and energy to I have left to work on me? In Exodus 18, the Lord teaches this principle to Moses. The story begins with Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, bringing Moses’ wife and sons to meet him. While visiting Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law becomes aware of Moses’ Codependency,

And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Mosses from morning unto the evening. And when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did to the people he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? Why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto eve? And Moses said unto his father-in-law, Because the people come unto me to inquire of God; When they have a matter they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statues of God and his laws. (Exodus 18:13-16). 

One might wonder, “What is Jethro worried about? Isn’t Moses doing the Lord’s work from sun up to sun down? What more can one do? Surely God would approve of such behaviors?” Jethro, being inspired of the Lord, counsels Moses:

And Moses’ father-in-law said unto him, the thing that thou doest is not good. Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee; for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou are not able to perform it thyself alone. (Exodus 18:17-18)

Jethro recognized that Moses would eventually “wear away” if he continued doing everything himself. Perhaps he might of ended up having a “nervous breakdown” and end up in a psychiatric ward. Jethro instructed Moses to appoint lesser judges and to delegate power to them. Then Jethro gave Moses a promise:

If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace (Exodus 18:23)

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36

How Does One Develop Self-Love?

1. Spend Time Alone
One must take time to be alone to develop self-love. In Matthew 7:3, Jesus said: “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in the brother’s eye, but considereest not the beam that is in thin own eye?” Codependents must focus on the “beam” in their own lives before various strategies and interventions aimed toward “mote” in the addict’s life will be effective. Each of us needs to understand that our priority is to return to God and make the necessary changes in our life to do just that, In part, this is done by taking time to be alone. Each codependent must  become sufficiently self-reliant to work out your personal salvation privately. If our personal “spirituality bucket” is empty what can we offer those around us who are in need of “living water?”

It is difficult to make time for ourselves in such a busy world. The needs of church, community, our children and our spouse can be demanding. In order to be alone, at times important tasks will have to be postponed or even left undone. Imagine the kinds of activities that might have been left undone by Moses when he went alone to Mount Sinai leaving the Israelites behind. If Moses had remained with the Israelites would they have begun worshiping idols? Using Christ as another example, might have someone benefitted from a blessing while Christ was in the desert alone for 40 days and nights? However inconvenient, these absences, (when individuals took time to be alone and with God) benefitted the entire human race in ways that can’t be measured.

Perhaps the best scriptural example illustrating the importance of being alone is found in Matthew 14:13. Here disciples tell Jesus that John the Baptist has been beheaded “When Jesus heard of it, he departed thence by ship into desert place apart.” The people heard where Jesus was going and they followed him by the thousands. Jesus ministered unto the 5,000 “beside women and children” and fed them. After the miracle of feeding the onlookers, the scriptures tell us:

And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away, he went up into the mountain apart to pray; and when the evening was come, he was there alone. (Matthew 14:22, 23).

For whatever reasons, after the death of John the Baptist Jesus arranged things to be alone.

For many codependents, the guilt associated with spending time alone and caring for themselves will make this assignment nearly impossible to complete. However, continue your efforts in hope. If time alone is spent effectively, someday you can find the “hidden treasure” YOU! You will become acquainted with your inner feelings, your aspirations, and the blessings promised you in your patriarchal blessing. God wants it this way. Only Satan would have you believe it is a sin to work out your own salvation.

2019 (C) Docyoucan